A friend called today and asked if the Jewish custom of "sitting shiva" has a basis in the Bible. A friend of hers recently died, and she was sitting shiva with the widow. She said it just "felt right".
In the matter of sitting shiva, the Jews are close to God's ordinance. They have many ungodly traditions mixed in with it, but the core of the observance is Biblically sound. When we understand sitting shiva, we can understand a lot of the uncleanness laws that the Jews do NOT observe any more.
Shiva is the Hebrew word for the number "seven". When a person dies, their parents, children, spouse and siblings sit shiva. This means they come together in a house or location, separate from the rest of the world, and stay there for seven days after the funeral. People come to visit them, but the mourners and their visitors don't speak. There is an example of this in the Bible.
Remember when Job's friends came to visit him, and they did not speak? They were sitting shiva for the death of Job's children. The comfort came from the presence of his friends. When you are in serious torment, no words can make you feel better.
Job 2:11-13
11 Now when Job's three friends heard of all this evil that was come upon him, they came every one from his own place; Eliphaz the Temanite, and Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite: for they had made an appointment together to come to mourn with him and to comfort him.
12 And when they lifted up their eyes afar off, and knew him not, they lifted up their voice, and wept; and they rent every one his mantle, and sprinkled dust upon their heads toward heaven.
13 So they sat down with him upon the ground seven days and seven nights, and none spake a word unto him: for they saw that his grief was very great.
But the story does not end there. The lesson of sitting shiva is not just an imitation of Job and his comforters. Job was a righteous man, knowing God's law. Sitting shiva in the way I have described here, without the extraneous Jewish additions, is the right way to obey the law of יהוה.
Numbers 19:11
11 He that toucheth the dead body of any man shall be unclean seven days.
12 He shall purify himself with it on the third day, and on the seventh day he shall be clean: but if he purify not himself the third day, then the seventh day he shall not be clean.
13 Whosoever toucheth the dead body of any man that is dead, and purifieth not himself, defileth the tabernacle of יהוה; and that soul shall be cut off from Israel: because the water of separation was not sprinkled upon him, he shall be unclean; his uncleanness is yet upon him.
14 This is the law, when a man dieth in a tent: all that come into the tent, and all that is in the tent, shall be unclean seven days.
15 And every open vessel, which hath no covering bound upon it, is unclean.
16 And whosoever toucheth one that is slain with a sword in the open fields, or a dead body, or a bone of a man, or a grave, shall be unclean seven days.
Do you see it? If you touch the dead body of a person, or the grave of a person, you are unclean for seven days. Archeologists who deal in bones must be unclean often. Every warrior becomes unclean for seven days when he kills an enemy. If grandpa dies upstairs in his bed, you are unclean for seven days. And so, you must sit shiva.
What do you do when you are unclean? By one direct commandment, and by several examples found in Biblical statute and caselaw, we deduce that an unclean person must separate themselves from others. Why? As courtesy. It is God's gentle type of quarantine. If you touch an unclean person, you too become unclean!
Numbers 5:1-4
1 And יהוה spake unto Moses, saying,
2 Command the children of Israel, that they put out of the camp every leper, and every one that hath an issue, and whosoever is defiled by the dead:
3 Both male and female shall ye put out, without the camp shall ye put them; that they defile not their camps, in the midst whereof I dwell.
4 And the children of Israel did so, and put them out without the camp: as יהוה spake unto Moses, so did the children of Israel.
The command here is to put people outside the camp. Today, we don't have walled cities. Staying confined to your house in the suburbs or countryside is the best most of us can do in the way of "going outside the camp". Under what conditions did you have to leave camp? If you were unclean because of:
Here is an example of this law in action: all the warriors of Israel had to stay outside the camp for seven days.
Numbers 31:12-20
12 And they brought the captives, and the prey, and the spoil, unto Moses, and Eleazar the priest, and unto the congregation of the children of Israel, unto the camp at the plains of Moab, which are by Jordan near Jericho.
13 And Moses, and Eleazar the priest, and all the princes of the congregation, went forth to meet them without the camp.
14 And Moses was wroth with the officers of the host, with the captains over thousands, and captains over hundreds, which came from the battle.
15 And Moses said unto them, Have ye saved all the women alive?
16 Behold, these caused the children of Israel, through the counsel of Balaam, to commit trespass against יהוה in the matter of Peor, and there was a plague among the congregation of יהוה.
17 Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him.
18 But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves.
19 And do ye abide without the camp seven days: whosoever hath killed any person, and whosoever hath touched any slain, purify both yourselves and your captives on the third day, and on the seventh day.
20 And purify all your raiment, and all that is made of skins, and all work of goats' hair, and all things made of wood.
King David mourned for his first child with Bathsheba, the one that God killed. This shows us the principle that rulers and leaders are punished through their subjects. Parents are punished in their children. King David sinned by ordering a census; many Israelites died for his sin. King David sinned by taking another man's wife; the resulting child died. When the King sins, it may be you that suffers! Therefore, do not be afraid to warn even the king when he is about to stumble and fall into sin. Your silence could get you killed!
2 Samuel 12:13-23
13 And David said unto Nathan, I have sinned against יהוה. And Nathan said unto David, יהוה also hath put away thy sin; thou shalt not die.
14 Howbeit, because by this deed thou hast given great occasion to the enemies of יהוה to blaspheme, the child also that is born unto thee shall surely die.
15 And Nathan departed unto his house. And יהוה struck the child that Uriah's wife bare unto David, and it was very sick.
16 David therefore besought God for the child; and David fasted, and went in, and lay all night upon the earth.
17 And the elders of his house arose, and went to him, to raise him up from the earth: but he would not, neither did he eat bread with them.
18 And it came to pass on the seventh day, that the child died. And the servants of David feared to tell him that the child was dead: for they said, Behold, while the child was yet alive, we spake unto him, and he would not hearken unto our voice: how will he then vex himself, if we tell him that the child is dead?
19 But when David saw that his servants whispered, David perceived that the child was dead: therefore David said unto his servants, Is the child dead? And they said, He is dead.
20 Then David arose from the earth, and washed, and anointed himself, and changed his apparel, and came into the house of יהוה, and worshipped: then he came to his own house; and when he required, they set bread before him, and he did eat.
21 Then said his servants unto him, What thing is this that thou hast done? thou didst fast and weep for the child, while it was alive; but when the child was dead, thou didst rise and eat bread.
22 And he said, While the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept: for I said, Who can tell whether יהוה will be gracious to me, that the child may live?
23 But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.
There are some things to note from this account of King David. His son died on the seventh day. This is the day before he would have been circumcised. His son died uncircumcised, outside the covenant of Israel. For it is written, a bastard shall not enter into the congregation of Israel.
Also, note well that King David fasted and mourned for seven days, but he did not sit shiva. As soon as his son died, he dressed, bathed, and went to the Tabernacle. The temple had not been built at this time. How could David do this? The answer is that his son was born in another building. In Israelite society, as in almost all polygamous societies, each wife has her own separate quarters to live in. And the man has his own separate living quarters, apart from any wife. Bathsheba was unclean, but King David was not, because he had not entered into her house. King David entered into her house to comfort her after he had worshipped at the Tabernacle, while Bathsheba was sitting shiva.
What does all this tell us about other forms of uncleanness? Do you have to go "outside the camp" when you are "unclean until even"? This is where we must use deduction. Read this story and tell me what your conclusion is:
1 Samuel 20:24-26
24 So David hid himself in the field: and when the new moon was come, the king sat him down to eat meat.
25 And the king sat upon his seat, as at other times, even upon a seat by the wall: and Jonathan arose, and Abner sat by Saul's side, and David's place was empty.
26 Nevertheless Saul spake not any thing that day: for he thought, Something hath befallen him, he is not clean; surely he is not clean.
When King David was absent from court, King Saul assumed that David was unclean. To leap to this conclusion, it must have been customary for people to isolate or quarantine themselves from others when they were unclean, even if only for a day.
Leviticus 13:45,46
45 And the leper in whom the plague is, his clothes shall be rent, and his head bare, and he shall put a covering upon his upper lip, and shall cry, Unclean, unclean.
46 All the days wherein the plague shall be in him he shall be defiled; he is unclean: he shall dwell alone; without the camp shall his habitation be.
Have you seen pictures of Japanese people when they are in public? Have you noticed that some of them are wearing white surgical masks? They are obeying the law about covering their upper lip. In Japan, and in a trend that is catching on among other Asian countries, if you have a cold or other communicable illness, you wear a surgical mask. This covers your mouth so you cannot spit, sneeze, or cough on another person. This also marks you as unclean so people can refrain from touching you and becoming unclean themselves. This is courteous, polite, and is in obedience to God's law. We in the West should return to God's law and adopt this custom as well. Remember, if someone spits on you, and by extension, if they cough or sneeze on you, then you are unclean, even if that person is clean!
Leviticus 15:8 And if he that hath the issue spit upon him that is clean; then he shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even.
Numbers 12:14 And יהוה said unto Moses, If her father had but spit in her face, should she not be ashamed seven days? let her be shut out from the camp seven days, and after that let her be received in again.
Notice, if a man with a running issue (and by extension, a menstruating woman) spit on you, you are unclean until evening. But if a girls father spits on her, she is unclean for seven days. Why the disparity? Who knows? These are the questions God told us to discuss at every opportunity in Deuteronomy 6:7. But the point is, if you come in contact with bodily fluid, you come under the quarantine law of separation outside the camp.
Sitting shiva is a modern attempt to obey the law to stay outside the camp for seven days after touching a dead body, or being under the same roof as a dead body. Next time a loved one dies, give it a try. It is really the best way to mourn.
There is much more to the laws of clean and unclean, but I hope this has given you a good start.